Terrifed

Do horses hate me? I mean, seriously.
So I went riding yesterday.

I got on Freddy and he decided to be a nutcase, in Nat's words. We were trotting around in the outdoor (five rings = large outdoor, outdoor, covered outdoor, round pen, and indoor arena) and I had him in a nice trot by talking to him nice and easy, gently tugging on the hackmore when he got a little excited. It sounds crazy - three month rider on an ex-race horse, using a hackmore. Anywho, we were going through an obstacle course with a cavaletti (using it as a small jump) at the end. Kristen was teaching us. SO before the cavaletti I would check him because Fred's all, OMG a JUMP! and speed up. He would trot nicely over it, sometimes, unless I didn't check him firm enough and he sped up and jumped it. So Kristen (she's my IDOL) told me to check him while going over. It worked the first few times until he go SUPEREXCITED about jumping, sped waaaayy up to a canter, and lauched himself over. And then he kept trying to go back to his stall, running out on me after the jump and not letting me turn him. Or running BEHIND Ginger and Ladybug (does he WANT to get kicked, fool horse?) and running up to his buddy, Riddle. Courtney was SO mad after the like, 20th time. Then we rode to the large outdoor and Freddy decided he wanted to run around the outside and took off on me. When I wrestled him back in, he took off again, trotting superfast, then breaking to a canter and NOT. STOPPING. So I checked him HARD, into a walk. Finally. So Emily (I love her!) and Two Socks rode next to us for a while, and I had Fred going into a BEAUTIFUL trot for a while. Then she left and Susan came to teach. Wall, I was trotting Freddy around the outside, and he took off. Again. I got him stopped, but now it's back to the basics for Fred and me. Trotting for three steps, check, walk for ten, repeat. And walking over ground poles. (Apperently, we weren't supposed to be jumping before. Ooopsies.) It's really upsetting, because I want to be an amazing jumper, and I hate taking it slow. I think I would be allowed to take the barrel jump, like Court and Em, at a fast gait, if I was riding someone else. But now, until I get Freddy to behave himself and for me to ride him more often, I woun't be able to canter and jump him, and until Nicole gets her heels down, her balance, and Lady to listen better (lazy Lady) she'll be stuck to cantering at select times and going at poles at a trot. So darn for both of us.
In three weeks, though, I'll be leasing Fred (if he heals slow, though, I woun't. He has an infection in the corner of his mouth, so he and Lacy (needs eye surgery) will be going to the vet's on Wednesday.) and we will learn tons more. I am improving on my balance, though. I have much better contact at two-point, understand all my aids at the walk/trot, can sit a run-away canter quite well while checking (I have a feeling I'll be the master after a while; I'm going to bring my riding gloves next time, too.) and can sit the trot (in Fred's stiff Bates saddle, NOT the cushy-comfy Wintec) for a good lap of time. Of course, I'm just a sad little beginner, but soon I hope to get better. Sometimes it feels like I improve every time I ride, but sometimes it feels like I'm LOSING skill.

After I untacked Freddy and had lunch with the rest of the girls, it was time for a trail ride. I cannot trail-ride Freddy yet, expessically without a bit, and because of his mouth, he can't take a bit. So I rode Willy (in a Western saddle, yuck) the gentlest horse on Iron Horse Ranch. He does have a stiff mouth, and halting him and checking him was difficult. We rode single-file across beautiful areas. When it was time to trot, Willy (former endurance horse) decicided it was a race. Trotting faster, I tried to check him. He didn't listen, and, filled with antsy-ness, he took off. At a full-blown, Arabian gallop. YIKES. YIKES YIKES EEEEK. At this point, I heard Kristen yelling to check him, and the wind blowing my helmet back  (broke it last week falling off Freddy, don't have money to replace it) and stinging and watering my eyes. I am proud of myself, because I have NEVER lost my cool on a horse, even on Millie (Ms. BuckanSpook) or Freddy. I have simply never felt fear. Just, (Omigod, horse, Susan's going to have a FIT. Stop, stop, stop. Whoa, baby.) I sat chilly, leaning back into the reins. But we were on a gravel rode, and I was TERRIFED we were going to get hit by a car. Because. He. Would. Not. Stop. I wanted to make him circle, and as I tried, I saw a dead-end rode. (sign) I hauled the rein that way and, relief, he turned down it. Now my priority was to stop him. At this point, I'd already calmly told him to stop. (Whhhoaaa, horse. Wiilllyy.) I heard Kristen and her horse Alli galloping behind us, as he turned into a narrow trail between some trees. Afraid she thought I had made him gallop, I yelled, WHOA and leaned back hard. At this point, I grabbed the reins in one hand and held onto the saddle's pommel and horn to keep me from falling. A one-rein stop never occured to me. *rolls eyes* I wasn't really insecure at the pace, but if I fell off Willy, he could get hurt. And I think I would make a dent in the ground at the pace we were going. At least the saddle was synthetic (synthetic = cushy = secure) and Willy was smoother than Millie at a gallop. I repeatedly checked and released on Willy, but he refused to listen. You won the race, Willy. Now we were on someone's gravel driveway. NICE. Glacing around, I saw a white-vinal and electric fence. Susan's horses were trained to stop by tipping their nose to the fence. Hoping Willy's training would kick in (for god's sake, he's 24 years old! MAN that old guy can run!) I tipped him towards the fence and he slowed to a trot, Kristen and Alli catching up to us. I should be surprised that he beat a young, registered Quarter Horse, but y'now, I'm just relieved we arn't going to die. Finally I get him to stop, and both me and Kristen are panting as she rides up to me. She ponies us. Normally, I would be indignant, but I'm just relieved that he woun't run off again. I AM NEVER RIDING THAT CRAZY HORSE AGAIN. Safest horse on the place, and of course, he takes off with me. The other girls are waiting at the end of the lane, and Kristen yells, "I got her!" They ask if I'm okay, and I wave to them, laughing. For the rest of the ride, I keep Willy on a supertight rein and tense in the saddle whenever he tries to go faster than a walk. Trot = tense, bounce, jerk on his poor mouth on accident. Clumsey, hungry horse trips over his feet trying to eat = tense, clutch, pop the poor horse in the mouth.  I'm not sure if I was actually scared, or I just was trying to act it to show my repentance. I remember galloping on Millie across a field - happy, cheeks pink, eyes light at the end, asking "Can we do it again!?" But this...I had zero control. I've never felt that way on a horse.

So, at the end of the day, I had sat through four takeoffs. My god. Well, I HOPE it gets better from here.
Thoughts?



- Abbi